WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF MERRILL AND LADY MERRILL...

IDLENESS IS A VIRTUE.
Lady Merrill (longingly). “Oh, darling — what shall we do today?”
​Merrill. “Why, we’ve already drunk champagne and promenaded Picton... I say that’s quite enough!”

LIFE’S DECISIONS.
Lady Merrill. “Shall I study my newest maps or read about Charlemagne?”
​Merrill (slightly perturbed). “One day you should be content enjoying a fire.”

DINNER FOR TWO.
Merrill. “I think I’ll move on to the claret.”
​Lady Merrill (shocked). “But how barbarous! We are just on the pike quenelles!”

INNOVATION ABOUND.
Merrill (excitedly). “What a marvellous invention, this plant-less hot house!”
Lady Merrill (plainly). “The Finns call it a sauna.

TEATIME.
Merrill. “Is it the clotted cream first, or the jam?”
Lady Merrill. “Let’s not overcomplicate things, dear.”

BEDTIME.
Merrill. “I had my pillows scented with lavender, that is, in case you wanted to sleep over here tonight.”
Lady Merrill. “It’s always nice to save something for another time.”

A SIGN OF THE TIMES.
Merrill. “Do you like it, darling? It came straight from Geneva.”
Lady Merrill. “There was a time where a lady was content with an heirloom broach or a pearl necklace.”

SPRINGTIME.
Merrill. “There is nothing quite like spring in Prince Edward County.”
Lady Merrill. “Excepting summer in England.”

FORTIFICATION.
Lady Merrill (calls loudly). “What are you doing out here? I told you to meet me in the drawing room for my cello concerto!”
Merrill (murmurs). “Fortifying myself for the hours ahead...”

DE RIGUEUR.
Merrill. “I’ve decided to try out some of the new fashions; it’s this season’s Bianchi!”
Lady Merrill. “Civilization is like a garden cultivated in a jungle.”

ROOM TO BREATHE.
Merrill. “I believe we only have six courses remaining... I daresay it’s the veal kidneys next.”
​Lady Merrill. “I really must do away with these corsets.”

SERIES I FINALE: TUESDAYS.
Merrill. “In vino veritas...”
Lady Merrill. “You know the rules, once you start speaking Latin you’re cut-off.”

SELF-ESTEEM.
Merrill. “Must you really keep that parrot in the bedroom?”
Lady Merrill. “But he cheers when I open my eyes each morning; you can’t imagine what a boost it is to one’s confidence!”

GRAMMAR LESSONS.
Merrill. “What is the group noun for cocktails? An innovation? An inebriation?”
Lady Merrill. “It’s a buffoonery of cocktails, darling, a buffoonery.”

GRATITUDE.
Merrill (excitedly). “Our very own automobile! Can you imagine? It’s German. Do you like it?”
Lady Merrill (plainly). “I suppose one has to ride in something...

CULTURE.
Lady Merrill. “Why should we use this newfangled internet when Papa’s Encyclopaedias Britannica are fully intact?”
Merrill. “My dear, this limitless source of information is really just for watching cats jump in terror at the sight of a cucumber.”

SAFETY FIRST.
Merrill (perplexed). “What can you mean; it’s safer if we start social distancing from each other? How could we possibly have the virus? We've scarcely left our home in over 150 years!”
Lady Merrill. “Ah, I see the confusion. I meant safer for our marriage.”